Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Chances are you know someone who has suffered a loss through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. Perhaps you have suffered a loss yourself. It helps to know you’re not alone. Before losing Hannah, I had an early miscarriage. The doctor (not my usual ob) called it “just” a chemical pregnancy, as if that hurts less. All I know is that I had a positive pregnancy test, I was excited to have another baby, and then I started bleeding. I gained and lost everything over just a few days. I remember the pain, the crying, then nothing. That’s how I joined the community of women who have lost a pregnancy. Ten months later, Hannah died. Today, my husband and I will be attending a memorial service at the hospital where Hannah was born. We’ll light a candle to participate in the Wave of Light and decorate a rock to go in the hospital’s Memory Garden. It’s a small thing, but it will remind us that we are not alone in our losses. It’s a night to be with other parents and families like us, to take time out of our lives to honor the babies who are no longer with us.
I want to take a moment to say thank you to those who have been reading this blog. I have gotten wonderful feedback from many people – more than I ever imagined. It is very comforting to know that people are reading about Hannah. It makes me feel like she’s touching lives in a way I never thought would be possible after she died. I didn’t think anyone would ever get to know her, but I was wrong. This blog has helped me keep my memory of her alive and enabled me to talk about her in a way I can’t in every day life. I’m so grateful to everyone who takes the time to read this.
If you know someone who has lost a baby, let them know you are thinking about them today. If you have lost a baby yourself, light a candle for your little one at 7 PM (in your time zone). If you want, share something about your baby in the comments. I’d love to hear from all of you.
Resources for pregnancy and infant loss:
www.missfoundation.org
www.firstcandle.org
www.october15th.com
www.facesofloss.com
www.stillstandingmag.com
www.marchofdimes.com
I cried so much reading this story heather. I lost a baby at 8 weeks and i can’t even imagine the heartache of losing one so far along. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, i know it wasn’t easy to do. I’m lighting a candle not only for the one i lost so early, but also one for hannah. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I’ve been thinking about your loss a lot. At the time, I didn’t understand how difficult it is and I’m sorry I wasn’t more supportive. I’ll be thinking of you when I light our candle tonight.
I completely understand Heather. I think you were pregnant with Derek when I lost my baby and you had that to think about. I’m so sorry I haven’t been around to be more supportive of you and Danny during this time. Even though I live in another state, just know that I’m thinking of all of you and I’m only a phone call away if you ever need anything. I have known you for a long time and I know that you have a lot of people who love and care about you and are thinking of you during this time. On Oct 15th I lit two candles and one was in memory of Hannah.