It’s a big milestone – 24 weeks pregnant today. We’ve reached viability. If something were to happen and Gavin was born today, or tomorrow, or next week, we’d be in for the fight of our lives, but his chances of surviving have gone up. I hope he stays put for many more weeks, but if there was an emergency, at least we know we still have a chance of bringing him home.
And that’s the other thing I’ve noticed. I’ve been saying “when” instead of “if.” Don’t get me wrong – I know there are no guarantees. I know that anything can go wrong at any moment. However…I’ve been allowing myself to be more positive about this pregnancy. After a trip to labor and delivery a couple of weeks ago and about five days on the IV again, the hyperemesis finally seems to be easing up. It’s unpredictable and could hit full force when I least expect it, but we’re hopeful that we’re at the end of that struggle. With that in mind, I’m able to put more energy toward planning and preparing for this baby. It’s exciting, and even though I have moments of complete and paralyzing fear of the unknown, overall I’ve been able to let myself be happy with anticipation. That’s a huge step and something I have to remind myself of constantly, but I’m getting there. One day at a time.